“Do Not Let the Sun Go Down on Your Anger” Ephesians 4:26b ESV
Forgiveness. Often it is something I forget to give myself. I am capable of mistakes I did not believe I would ever make. Yet, in the moment they happen, the decision is so easy.
Last week I travelled somewhere tropical for the first time in my life. I got to escape winter. I hoped I would also be able to escape depression. The sunshine kept me warm and my anxieties were basking in it along with me. Silent, but ever present.
A perfectly tempered breeze came to caress me exactly when I thought I might be getting too warm. The Cubans smiled and held the same perfect warmth. Cuba made me question why I ever felt content in a country with winter.
Sometimes the person you need to be gentle with is yourself. Sometimes you must forgive your own mistakes, no matter how hard. You must do it to survive.
I went to Cuba seeking peace. I found that seeking can be dangerous when you don’t know what you’re looking for. I am curious. I want to touch, feel and experience everything. There is no sense of danger and no awareness. There is only seeking with a hunger close to starvation. I would break down prison gates to find it. It: that something I’m longing for. I broke down prison gates only to find myself locked inside the prison of my own mistakes.
Absently Searching 